What exactly is a vulgar word?
People have different views of vulgarities.
What exactly is true friendship?
Is it people who stand by you
or is it people who shatter you to wake you up?
What exactly is tears?
Emotions falling or just feelings hidden deep within?
What exactly makes people smile?
When their eyes twinkle and teeth show or
just danicng by the moon?

Who are people you can call friends,
when everyone loses their trust in you?
Is eternity really forever?
Why is hell dark when it has fire?
Why is it then,
when I try to be my best,
an unexpected wave,
washes away my sand castle city,
leaving ruins in its path.

I try my best,
my best to preach,
to not see my friends go hell.
They talked behind my back,
calling it irratating, nothing else.
They say I'm a bad example,
they say I can't be good.
They haven't seen that side of me,
which I know they should.
They do not know my past,
nor do they know my tunes.
Each time I try to make them
'un-irratated' I seem to make things worse,
for they'll think as a CornerStone-er
I should be extremely good.

Should I cry over what I've done?
Should I be alone?
Should I curl up in a corner,
just thinking through?
I hope the drum beats shatter,
all my fears and pain.
I hope it penetrates through my skin,
just like cold wet rain.

My heart is breaking,
although I'm not alone.
Should I change I ask myself,
should I turn into a walking stone?
Should I just stand in the rain,
drenching me so?
Washing away all emotions and pain,
till I become a saint.

Give me a compassionate heart O God,
give me your hopes and dreams.
Tell me what you like O God,
and what you expect of me.
Let this be a silent prayer,
stirring in my heart.
Help me gain back Me O God,
just Lord,
pour down on me.
Shame me in your love O God,
tell me I've been bad,
tell me you'll never leave me O Lord,
and tell me why,
my tears tastes so salty.

Help me control my anger,
help me hide my pain.
Lord I pray that you will, God,
mold me just like clay.
Tonight as I rest my soul,
tonight when the moon rings bright,
come visit me when the time is right,
and give me a hug good night.

That wasn't a poem.
It just happens to ryme.
That was how I felt today.
I mean it.
May Yong, don't leave.
I have no other friends.
You told me about Aglin and Lyn and Charlotte.
You told me almost everything I needed to know.
You were there for me, sort of.
I'm telling you, my heart hurts alot.
I feel like transfering school again.
But as usual,
even from the start,
I've always been an outcast.
Everytime I try to blend in,
they call me bad, no good.
I don't blame them,
I was supposed to be a GOOD role model.
I should turn to a emotionless stone,
only feeling happiness from God
and reaching out to people,
who really want to know God.
It all just sums up,
I give up.

Labels: Shattered

oh don't think you know me ;
8:45 PM;