I just can't take it.
Her life is just fading away. In a way.
It's like she lost her spark for life.
Her laughter seems so faded and far,
it's only a few times that I hear her true laughter anymore.
Why, Lord, is she like this?
Why has she changed so much?
It's like she built this invisible shield around her.
Around her heart.
Like she doesn't want to get any more hurt.
Anymore love.
Not just from the opposite gender, from everyone.

My heart is just shattering,
seeing her like this.
Like she is drifting away from me,
from this world.
I don't know what has happened in her life,
it's like she got so many secrets no one knows but her.
Like she doesn't want it to be known.
She doesn't want anyone to know she exist.
I hear her stories,
it's like no one in her school recognises her.
Like she is just a wandering student, lost in the crowd.
I feel so upset at myself.
I'm sorry,
I'm sorry you didn't tell me everything so I can lift the burden from you.
I'm sorry to what has happened and yet I don't know about it.
I'm sorry for not being there.
I'm just sorry.

I always prayed,
I ask Jesus, why has she become like this.
I don't want to see her fakes,
I want the old her back.
It's like her past is just a mere shadow of used-to-bes.
I can't move to Bedok seeing her like this.
I just can't.

I'm so worried.
For her.
I don't care if anything happens to me,
I just want her,
I want my friends to be happy.
I'm worried she might break down,
I'm worried she'll go into a silent depression.

I don't know what's going on in her head.
I don't think she knows what's going on in her head either.
Is it sirens of hurt, or a slow beeping beat?
She doesn't tell, I won't know.
I feel so pathetic.
I want to help her,
I don't know where to start, how to start.
I've been praying, so so hard, for her.

I really want the old her back,
the way she hypes up with me,
the way she used to smile,
the way she used to sing praises for Jesus,
not caring about the world,
the way she opened up her every secret to me,
the way we used to read each other's thought,
the way we used to spy on guys and decide who acutally likes who,
the way we explored our home town,
the way we used to go each other houses and have make overs,
the way we used to go out to places we've never been.
It's not the same anymore.
The past her is just gone. Only sometimes does she ever give me
that pure sign of happiness, a ring in her voice, a sparkle in the eye,
the way we used to critise each other and
ask each other how we look.
I miss those days.
Actually, I miss her.

I really feel so sad.
I'm so sad for her.
I wonder what, so terrible these 2 years
when I'm gone, that had happened.
Lord, please, get her old self back.
Replenish that fire for you in her,
in me.
Fuel her back, Lord.
I really, really miss her.

Labels: I MISS HER

oh don't think you know me ;
4:35 PM;