Sian lahh.
Dionne wants me to go to a Job thing.
I'm supposed to meet Jaime, Dorisa, Joshua they all.
I mean, I like already delay twice already the meeting.
And it's like, super sian lah.
Even though the Job is like paying $10/hr,
it's still like sian lorhh,
cos no doubt a Dionne will be complaining about her fringe.
Whatever, her fringe looks alright.
Then it's like, grr.
I don't want disappoint any of them and
Dionne needs the answer quick.
I can't get through Jaime's phone
and seriously, I'm like too shy or whatever
to call up Dorisa and Joshua.
I'm also too lazy to sms.
Sheesh.
Maybe I should just stay at home and sleep.
On the account I have nothing NICE to wear anyway.

Pros if I go with Dionne:
-Earn money together.
-She won't get upset at me.( I think)
-I won't feel guilty.
-I raised my voice at her over the phone just now
because I was freaking stressed out so now I'm
feeling seriously guilty and bad.
-It's a once in a life time thing.
-I really need the money to save up.

Cons:
-I'd have to spend money for lunch at some
expensive place at Orchard?
-I'm scared the others might get upset at me.
-I'll most likely feel super guilty.
-I'm still fumming that she keep saying
the Job is a once in a life time thing while I can meet
my friends next time during the holidays.
-It's a last minute thing.
-I don't know what the freak am I going to do there.

Pros if I go with Jaime they all:
-I'll have fun and get to know them better.
-It's near my house so I can easily go home
anytime I want to.
-I sort of promised Imran I'll be there
and I also promised to meet him that's why
he is going too.
-I sort of want to meet Dorisa and Joshua.
-I get to sabo the guys

Cons:
-I'll be spending alot of money.
-I might get left out cause I'm from a
different church and school then them.
-I might throw my temper around if I
lose control of myself and wallow in self-pity.
-I'll feel bad not being able to pei Dionne.

Wow, so the job thing wins.
But like, I don't want disappoint them lah.
I mean, I was looking forward to it,
and then, well, at first,
cell was supposed to come my house
on Friday but I told them I was not free
cause I'm going out.
So it bounced.
Then now this.
Maybe God is telling me it's not the right time.
I'm still not ready to call up Dorisa OR Joshua.
At this point of time,
sometimes I just want to scream out to God
for help, to relax me and to let me know he is there.
I'm going to call Dionne now. If she is like,
Once-in-a-life-time-thing again, I'll not take the
job offer and spend tomorrow fooling about.

Labels: GGAAAHH.

oh don't think you know me ;
6:26 PM;